The bane of Americans is overwork--and the ruin of any work is a divided interest. Concentrate-concentrate. One thing at a time.

As far as I know it is not my "fault" that I suffer from migraines. The medicine I take either puts me out for 2 hours (shot) or upsets my stomach (pill). Yesterday, I had another headache. I had one 2 weeks ago - it was around for 2 days. I then had one start on Sunday; yesterday, it was very bad.

I couldn't take my medicine right away - Husband decided it was more important to go pick up the car that was in the repair shop than for me to get over my headache. When we returned, I took my medicine; which meant that I'd have to sleep for 1 hour then have a 1 hour recovery time. Apparently my saying, "I am closing the door and no animals are to come into the room" was not clear enough. After 20 minutes of animal chasing, I closed and locked the door.

During the second hour, Daughter and I watched some television. This gave me time to eat crackers and drink Coke (non diet). Husband did not understand why I had to be "out of commission"; I told him I'd be more than happy to be up and around, dizzy and throwing up if he liked. He was not amused.

As far as I know it is not my "fault" that our money situation has gone down hill, again. I kept to my self-imposed spending limit on gifts; I put nearly all my earnings into savings. Oh, wait - the car "broke" and my step-son moved - that's where it went. (Sorry, had to bitch.) I don't see how this gives you (husband) the right to bark and show no mercy. (OK, that was a bit dramatic; but that is how I'm feeling at the moment.)

I had no clue that husband thought he was not going to work today so that we could all do something "family". Being out for a day meant nothing got done around here; and with people coming tomorrow, I have a lot to do. Comments like, "If I had known we weren't doing anything, I could have gone to work," just aren't helpful. If you want to go to work, then go; wtf do I care at this point.

These mixed messages are becoming unbearable. I'm all for compromise, but this is just $h1tty and tiresome.

And, for those of you following the story, Husband has once again decided that "we" cannot afford to get a lawyer to bring Daughter here. Apparently, he has forgotten who I am...

Over every drowsy thing - And buries them up quite - In a labyrinth of light

My Daughter arrived yesterday.

My heart is happy.

I may not blog until the New Year (by the Gregorian Solar Calendar).

Peace

Truth is the highest thing that man may keep.

At this time of year when many give each other gifts of tangible sorts, I am blessed with gifts of heart.

I do not know why others insist on using lies and self-indulgent justifications to bring harm to me and those I love. I cannot take the precious time I have to figure it out.

I have recieved comments and emails and cards and letters from those who love and support me. For this, I do take the precious time I have to say a public "Thank You"

To L, it is best to howl at the full moon - more people are doing it at that time, so you won't look as crazy.

To Peabody, I will be strong - apparently, I don't know how else to be.

To S, knowing you are in my life gives me joy beyond belief.

To Willow, thank you for travelling so far to find yourself.

Peace.

Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once

Again, I consider, giving up -

• On the hope of having my Daughter where she belongs
  
• On the hope of having financial security
• On the hope of not being part of a Tragedy

I will do myself no physical harm; nor will I give into the Depression Demon. On the latter, I cannot promise the incident will not occur after January 3.

Why, you ask, do I make this dramatic statement? For this reason:

My husband, who is the most honest man I have ever met - he will give you the truth, if you ask, even if it is not pleasant - has been accused of wrong-doing. Those who do not appreciate his honesty and committment have accused him of something he cannot prove the truth of. 'They' claim he did not appear at a particular place; he did appear, but has no proof. My husband must now hire an attorney and wait.

I am sick - hipocrasy makes me want to throw-up - as does the thought of going 3 steps back...again.

If this unfounded accusation is followed through, it will cost us the balance of our Daughter fund (of which most went to moving husband's son), I may need to ditch classes to work full-time, and proof again that those issues not resolved in my Past Lives are a force to be reckoned with.

I was hoping for a more light-hearted and intelligent post. To my reader's, I apologize.

Peace

The yeoman, the summoner learns, is a devil

Quick List:

• Have been laid-off from job. Depending on the workload, I will return to work the second or third week in January.
• Tree is up! Ran out of lights; usually do; can't figure out that one.
• Daughter arrives in 8 days. May I have a resounding "HOO-RAH"
• Waiting for snow
• The ex's wife is trying, again, to screw me over; all while smiling and playing nice. And, no, I'm not surprised.
• I'm happy!
  

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Let's find out...wo-one, too-who...

Over the last 3 days I have made valiant attempts to post to my blog. I don't think I've ever received so many different error messages from an on-line program.

And, all the fun posts I had in my head are now in the outer space, never to be found again.

Today's post is quite ho-hum - I've been laid off from my job. I'm told it will only be temporary - 2 to 4 weeks. I won't mind having the time off - with Yule and Daughter visiting and many Winter projects to do, I'll be quite busy.

I'm changing my profile pict for a bit; something more Winter-Yule-Solistice-ish.

Trials and Tribulations of a Wiccan/Pagan working her way through this life thanking the Goddess each day for more cartoon heros

I've got much going on - much to share - much to write.

For now, here is a link to one of my cartoon heros from the past...and present.

Daughter Update

Note: I love comments! I'm almost as bad as another blogger who considers herself a "comment whore". I wouldn't go that far about myself; but one of the reasons I started this blog was to get outside opinions - to think about my situations from different perspectives.

I miss my Daughter. I will see her in 19 days. It isn't soon enough.

Her latest 'problem' is school. And, yes, if she were living with me, the issue would have been handled expediently.

She is pulling up her grades in school. She was sinking, which most middle-schoolers do. I can only throw a life-line so far - I cannot go into her school to talk to her teachers and I'm not there when she gets home to work with her on school-work. The 'people' that are there to do that decided not to - let her sink, she'll figure out how to swim. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! Well, 'they' finally became "concerned" about Daughter's grades (a 'D' in Math) and, since her father has shown some interest in whether or not she got her work handed in and if she needs help, her grades have improved (now a 'C' in Math). Kee-riste! Oh, let's not forget - this is my fault.

Why? Well, she has my genes; she is a girl, the type of girl I was at her age. Her logic/reasoning for doing/not doing makes perfect sense to me. Very scary but, helpful. When she explains to me why she was sent to the principal's office and how unfair it is, I understand. I also know how to explain to her - in a logic she will understand - why, no matter how unfair it is, she needs to follow rules/directions, etc. This was something that her father and his wife could not figure out how to do. They were at a complete loss - they didn't act like this in school. They may have gotten in trouble, but never acted the way she does. They didn't raise her to be this way.

Yep, that last one got me boiling.

They didn't raise her. That's another post.

Back to school...

Now that Daughter is pulling up her grades and the 'people' she lives with are taking responsibility as 'parents', she is doing better. She asked me (ME) to help her while she is here - she needs ideas on better ways to study and her spelling.

Did I mention: she asked ME.

I love my reason for living.

Of Comments and Beta and Yule and Other stuff

Follow the bouncing ball...

• I've been submitting comments to someone's blog and the comments are not appearing. I am hoping it is because the comments are not making it thru to the person, and not that the person has decided that my comments are not worth approving.
• I'm considering moving to Beta, just so I can have categories. Opinions?
• Due to some unexpected huge expense, I will be unable to create my primo Yule decoration. I wanted to make it last year, too, and no money for it then, either. Perhaps this is a pattern/sign? Maybe I'll just create an animation and put it on my blog.
• Had a conversation with my Daughter's father and his wife last week. The conversations were "pleasant". Considering the history, I'm concerned this is the Dr. Jeckyll part of the latest encounter. Mr. Hyde always shows up. Shame, really.
• In reference to my first bullet, I thought about asking said person whether or not person was receiving my comments. However, I'm not sure I'd be ready for, "Yes, but, decided not to publish them because...(a) you are lame (b) you are stalking me (3) I do not succumb to drivel."

Peace

Julie Andrews on the Mount

I took the final test in my "self-directed" H&D-in-S course at the local U. It was a course not worth my time and energy. I'm not 18 and having my first year away from Mommy; I'm an adult who has been exposed to all types of things discussed in this class. The class was just an overview of a particular part of US life. I learned nothing; the course re-iterated my knowledge that I will do my level best to never administer a multiple choice or T/F test to students. Sheesh!

So, to the self-important instructor, " So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye"

Winter

Jonathon Art

I enjoy visiting this artist. The reasons are many, here are a few:

• I'm reminded that the Goddess is in, through, and around us in many different forms.
• His drawings and paintings are so "real" I could reach through my computer and touch the trees, animals, people.
• I am calmed on those days that are so full of stress, I could burst.

There is new Daughter "stuff" occurring and I may post about it, just to get it out. My Daughter is the love of my life and my reason for living.

Yule's Coming! Yule's Coming!

In the year 2006, Yule arrives on December 22 instead of the usual 21st. This pleases me - it gives me one more day to prepare!

I've got all my books dusted off and gathered
I've got my Wicca Jouranl ready
I've even got a Green pen to write it all out

Now, off to the races!

p.s. As seen on many, many blogs this week

How evil are you?

Update...

Wish I could put an audio here of Walter Cronkite saying, "Today in history..."

Cutting Slack: Gave a little. It is stressful when your child is moving and you have a crazy mother.

Not Cutting Slack: However, there was no excuse for taking it out on me. I talked, he said he listened. Of course, he had to do the, "I'm 8 and now won't talk to you for fear of making you mad." He got over that very fast - spending the night in the garage wasn't a pleasant idea for him.

Step-Son: Is moved. It cost us a lot of money we didn't have. His job starts Monday; I'm praying the Goddess will give him direction.

Daughter: She will be here December 26. I'm thrilled - so is she.

Thanksgiving aftermath: All furniture is back where it belongs. Dishes - including roaster and platter - are clean and put away. Later today, decorations will be re-boxed. Time to find Yule deocorations...

Speaking of Yule: Have decided to make it more festive this year. Although our house cannot be seen from the road, I am planning to decorate two or three outside trees. I'm also going to make a "string art" Pentacle to place on the deck. I was inspired by something I saw this summer - I'm going to get a piece of plywood, slather it with polyurethane, place nails in strategic places, and wrap a strand of lights to form a Pentacle. Also need to find Yule Log...

School: I'll be taking 2 classes next semester! I've already ordered my books and plan to pre-read - I'm such a nerd.

Weather: No snow yet. Odd. I'd rather have 30 F and snow than the 30 F and wind.

Readers: Would like to know how you are and any comments.

Peace

How Much Slack to Cut

One problem with an anonymous blog is that when "stuff" that I really need to get out comes about, I cannot be 100%.
I need to get it out, though, so, I will do my best.

I've been giving my husband slack for the last year. All relationships - especially those that are marriage/committed - require slack. If not, the relationship breaks. I've been through too many broken relationships - marriages/committed and other. Some were totally my fault, some totally theirs, some equal.

Anyway, it seemed to have started when I lost a job early in '06. The sexual harrassment just wasn't worth the paycheck. Husband got very worried I wouldn't find work and, in his words, we'd be "out in the car living". I did get another job right away - less money, but a job. Still, husband full of stress. Because of the financial stress, husband's fuse grew shorter. Me, being who I am, dealt with it.

Then, his dog passed on. It is always so difficult to lose an animal we love. He wanted to wait to get another dog but, I saw an ad in the paper and, we now have a beautiful female Dog. Husband has only recently bonded with the Dog. Bonded is probably too strong of a word - he is past tolerating but sees Dog as more soemthing to keep me happy than anything else.

Husband has been in pain since before I met him. Lately, it has grown worse. He has been to the doctor, had a battery of tests. At first, it was something serious - then a test proved that wrong. Then, it was something less serious but would need surgery - yesterday he was told that wasn't it either. The doctors here have given up. So has husband. He is in constant pain, but will do nothing more about it. He expects me to give him sympathy, but, if he won't do anything about it, I can only give so much.

Husband's mother (HM) has always been needy and pushy and nosy. Over the last 5 months, she has become more so. She refuses to take responsibility for her actions and expects Husband to be there and do things for her at whim. She shows no appreciation for his/our help and actions. When Husband's Son moved in with her, HM became downright nasty - she complained when he worked, complained when he didn't, complained that he wanted to cook his own food, complained that he wanted the heater on (even 55 is cold for Eskimos). Her newest thing: Husband and I are keeping secrets from her and Son is messing up his life by taking a better job. Unfortunately, husband gets the brunt of this. Talking to her is futile.

So, OK, husband has a lot to deal with. I'm working again (although temporary and part-time) and, yes, Thanksgiving is this week - which he feels he has to make a big deal about.

BUT

Asking him to pick up after himself, take care of chores he said he would help with, and asking him to not wake me when he can't sleep...apparently I'm the bad guy. I'm really tired of hearing the f-word fly, the banging of boots on the floor, the bright lights at 4 in the morning - all because he tripped over something that has been in the same place for 3 years or "my dog" is drinking water.

I could go on...I won't.

So, how much slack do I cut?

Where I've been...

...around

I just haven't had anything to blog about.

I've been so busy with work, getting ready for Thanksgiving, getting (step) Son ready to move, collecting information to get Daughter where she belongs...

Peace.

They must have been thinking of me!

Thank you, Propter Doc!

Which Major Arcana Tarot Card Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

Alive and Kicking*

I'm here.
Just nothing worth blogging about.
I'm sure something will come up soon, with Thanksgiving and Yule on the way.
Thanksgiving is happening at my house this year, much to my dismay.
I don't understand how the one person who does not care for the holiday, out of the 6 who will be gathering that day, gets to have the biggest "to do" list.
Peabody, if you are reading, please forgive my horrid grammar in the last sentence.

Peace.


*Simple Minds

This is NOT a political blog

Amazing to me how people how some people graduated from high school.

If you go HERE you can read what Mr. Kerry actually said, not what Little King Georgie and Rushie believe he said.

Perhaps Mr. Kerry's use of higher proper English doesn't work for people who had their education purchased for them. I'm referring to the line, "I can't overstress the importance of a great education. Do you know where you end up if you don't study, if you aren't smart, if you're intellectually lazy? You end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq."

Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?

I seem to remember punchlines but never the jokes.

Things happening I can share:

> Why do bullets not work in Blogger?
> My Son got a job in a city 3 hours away. We are thrilled for him. It is a good paying job, working for a University.
> I just might get to take a class or two this Spring semester.
> I received the repair bill for my Nikon - $150, not including shipping. Would have liked it to be less, but, I miss my camera!
> Taking peasants, er, pheasants to my Mom this weekend.
> It is unseasonably warm this week. Will have to ask the Goddess to talk to the Weather God and ask we don't get bombed with negative temps this Winter!
> I'm going to search the net for a bit of picture or something to place here