Epiphanies for all, and to all, A Good Night

I couldn't find an epiphany quote I liked, so I made one up.

Our electricity went out this morning around 2am. I bought this really cool plug in light that goes on if your electricity goes out; it also has a switch, so you can use it as a flashlight. VERY handy!

Well, anyway, after getting out of bed to get cell phone to set alarm so we would get up in time, I had the awfulness of attempting to go back to sleep.

When I have trouble falling asleep, I have several things to choose from to get me to sleep: what I'll do the next day; what I'll write about soon; what would have happened if...; what would happen if... This morning, I chose something completely different.

It all started with an email we received from my husband's ex-brother's-ex-wife (long story). She considers herself a very religious, born-again Christian. She has no illusions that I am Christian - as a matter of fact, she is praying for my soul, as I type this. OK, I shouldn't have taken a pot-shot; but, hey, if I ever told her I was praying to God and Goddess for her, she would freak! Anyway...

The highlights of the email are this:

• Hair stylist says to woman getting hair done there is no God (Christian) b/c, if there were, there would be no suffering or plagues or death or destruction.
• Woman says there must be no hairstylists as people walk around with scraggly hair.
• Hair stylist says if peopole don't want scraggly hair they can go to see her.
• Woman says if people don't want poverty or suffering or destruction, they can go see God.
  

It has been many years since my Logic class, but I know there are many things wrong with that argument. Here are my thoughts:

• If Woman is correct, then, those people who say they believe in God (Christian) but are still killed or devestated by volcanoes, hurricaines, fires, etc. don't believe in the "right" God.
• Also, if Woman is correct, poor people would be coming in and asking for free hair cuts. Would Hair Stylist give free haircuts?

I've got other thoughts, but they only make sense in my head; so, I won't share them.

This email got me to thinking: Why did I "turn away" from the Christian God? WOW, talk about flood-gates opening! It makes sense, now, more than ever! I'll do my best to explain without giving too much detail.

Each time I "took" God and/or Jesus Christ as my saviour and gave my life over to them/him, horrible, awful things happened to me. Each time I found or returned to the Goddess, these horrible things stopped. Now, don't get me wrong: the current state of affairs (so to speak) in my life is not the best of situations. BUT, each time I have given Christ a chance, I've felt empty, no goals, no focus; each time I've turned to the Goddess, when I began to feel empty, she gave me something to fill (it with), I got a handle on my goals, I focus on my life. As I said, lately, it has been a struggle, but I trust it will get better.

Here are some examples of what happened when I "accepted" the Christian faith:

• I was sexually attacked
• I was physically abused
• I nearly bled to death
• I mis-carried

After each of those instances, I sought a way other than Christ. Early on, I didn't realize it was the Goddess, but I did realize that God (Christian) was not helping me through the horrible ordeals, that the Demon had crept in and made a home. After accepting the Goddess, that didn't keep the Demon away, but She gave me hope that I could get through it and come out a better, stronger person on the other side.

These are my reasons and thoughts on why I follow the God and Goddess. I would never deny someone the right to believe or follow Christ, his God, Buddha, Mohammed, Moses, Beelzebub or whomever! I encourage everyone to share - with themselves and/or others - their reasons for their beliefs.

Peace

The first Awakening is the awakening to the possibilities of the new year.

from WitchVox

Imbolc, or Candelmas, arrives on February 2nd. Yes, Groundhog Day. Although not an "official" Christian holiday, G.D. is based on the Pagan ritual/meaning of Candelmas.

Thinking about all that has been happening in my life these last 2 months, I realize that this is just a "lead in" to my planning for growth and awakening (light) of the new year. This is the time of young thoughts and idea(l)s to be put to serious thought - where shall I let this year take me?

When I began thinking about my Candelmas celebration, I thought I'd start with the Internet for information retrieval, instead of my books. I love my books - I want more! - but I wanted a fresh look at things. Reading articles on the Net also set off a light in my brain - something I don't seem to get all the time from books. Perhaps it is because books seem so stagnant...anyway...

If this is the start of a beginning, then, my goal for this "year" is to figure out how to deal with the December and January (Gregorian). Realizing those months are the deepest time of "death" of the God (although I do believe my Patron God never dies, he just sleeps more), and the time of long nights, perhaps this battles on my psyche - conscious, subconscious, and spiritual.

I need goals. And now is the time to set them.

Peace

p.s. If anyone is interested, I will post what I decide to do for Candelmas aka Imbolc aka Groundhog Day

*crickets*

Well, I see my last post generated a lot of comments.
I'll take that to mean that people just don't have an opinion.
A new post should appear tomorrow.

Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgment wage war against passion and your appetite

A few posts ago, I wrote - actually copied some quotes - about decisions and decision making. Many things I have decided:

1. I will be deleting posts which I think are inappropriate for this blog.
2. I will more than likely not delete such posts if comments have been left with/for them.
3. I am going to write more about my Spiritualness.
4. If I do write about my family, my Depression, or the twists in my life, I will do so with more of a congenial tone.
5. #4 means there are things I will not put on this blog but, rather, in a private journal.

Peace

And what, my love, have you brought me today?

As long-time readers know, my Daughter is the most precious part of my life. She has no idea just how precious; nor does she realize that, without her, I would be somewhere else. I've started several times to write just how I feel about my Daughter. Words escape me; I cannot put my feelings nor my "visions" into words. Perhaps if I brushed up on one of the languages I (used to) know, I could come up with the words. I don't know. I do know that each time I think about writing about her and how important she is to me, I sink into myself, get lost, cry, and have to pull myself out of the fog. The pain I experience each moment I am without her is excruciating. When she is with me, the joy and love exceed my greatest imagination. At those times, I'm so involved in her, I will not take the time away from her to write how I'm feeling. Because, well, I can't find the right words. This is one of those times I envy superb writers - how do they manage to use the confines of the English Language to bring forth visions and feelings? Peace

Wait'll Jimmy Swaggart gets news of THIS story! or...Will they call one of them 'Jesus'?

Goddess works in mysterious ways.

Dragons

If I needed any more help, I'd have to charge myself for the phone call

Thank you, Loralee, for the link. I'll check on that.

Also, I put something on ebay which was getting great bids. But, then, I found out it was bootleg recording! Ack!

Does anyone know of a legal way to get rid of an old recording that (a) I had NO idea was a bootleg (b) I never purchased - it was "left" at my residence some years ago? All suggestions welcomed!

I will be back to posting some "real" blog stuff in the next couple of days.

Peace

Please leave a message after the tone

I've got some job hunting to do in the town near where my Mother resides.

I most likely will not blog until late this week.

Miss me, please.

And, if you have a few extra treats, please feed
Peabody.

Peace

Request for Help, Again

Hello,

Does anyone know if there is a way to easily copy Blogger posts?

I want to copy posts and paste them into my word processing program.

All help welcome!

Peace

Decisions, again

I'm thinking and evaluating. So far:

Ben Stein: The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.
Eleanor Roosevelt: I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.
J.K. Rowling via Harry Potter: It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
Publilius Syrus: We must give lengthy deliberation to what has to be decided once and for all.

As if there weren't enough $h1T flowing in my life

I may abandon blogging.

My husband has "informed" me that, unless I get a full-time job paying at least $10/hour we will either

(a) Move his mother into our house; or
(b) Declare bankruptcy

I love my husband.
But, there are times like this when I am fed up with the Chicken Little routine.
Oh, not to mention, having my life run and decided by someone else.

So, I may not abandon blogging.
I may just re-evaluate this blog and blog about the fucking-suck of my life in a completely anonymous way. That way, those who I value will not have to feel bad about not reading and commenting on how fucked things are.

I thought New Moons were suppose to be helpful...

When all else fails, fall back

I found this on my old blog. For those of you who followed me from there, I apologize for the redundancy. For those of you who didn't, I hope you will not be bored.

I'm better than that - originally posted July 28, 2006 (or 2006 July 28 - or 28 July 2006)

My daughter's father's wife tried to pick a fight via my other blog via a comment. When I read it, I had deja vu - she was voicing the same opinions she has voiced for the last 7 years. Then, I laughed. Well, more of a head-shaking chuckle.

This is my new reaction.

I've been re-establishing my faith. I continue to remember the "what you give returns" part of it all. It helps me keep it all in perspective.

I rarely use the word try or any form of such. I remember what Yoda said (paraphrasing) "There is no try. Only do, or do not." So, yes, she tried, and failed.

It is by no means an irrational fancy that, in a future existence, we shall look upon what we think our present existence, as a dream.

Those who can put on the pretty face and hide the hideous monster are intellingent but foolish.
The hideous monster will emerge, eventually, and the pretty face will pay a price.
As will all the loved ones around the pretty face.

The idea that there is another time and place which did
and will
exisit for the pretty face soul
is what keeps the hideous monster at bay for most of the Soul's lifetime.

Without the presence of a young, kind Soul in the life of the pretty face
the hideous monster would have devoured the pretty face Soul long ago.

The grand reason for the exisitence of the
pretty face
hideous monster
and
young, kind Soul
are yet to be known.

There's the wind-up....Now there's the pitch!

Thursday - Had difficulty getting off the couch
Friday - Transporting Dogs and then off to another part of the State
Saturday - Won't be around to blog; return to home base
Sunday - Probably won't blog - playing catch-up
Monday - Probably won't blog - husband has the day off work

Everyone, enjoy your week-end.

Peace

My whole world has gone-a-Blugger and there are no systems anyalysts available for aide

Did anyone else have difficulty logging in and blogging today? This is the first I've been able to do so. I received all lovely messages, such as "Forbidden Site" and "You have no valid license to access this folder". Of course, if I can't get into Blogger, I cannot report the problems, although Blogger would be quite happy if, the next time this happens, that I access the main website and explain my difficulties.

My Difficulties?! Why, do they have $200,000 and a crystal ball? If not, I refuse to explain my difficulties.

Blugger.

And then there were none

*Note: Before you read this post, please read the previous, posted earlier today.

The great temporary job I had which was to become permanent this year will not be so.

I must, again, make a decision on school and classes.

I had made a "deal" with myself that, if I could not take classes this semester, I was going to give up my dream of becoming a certified teacher.

The Goddess is throwing my life another tumble. I must find out why and how to "fix" it.

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what really throws you into a panic.

It is rare that I post photos. So, for those of you reading this post on this blog, you are experiencing an extraordinary event...times 2 (I could not choose just one photo to post).



These were taken the night of our belated Yule celebration. Daughter requested the fire. She has always said she is "oddly drawn" to fire. "Oddly drawn"... It could mean this


but I believe she means that, although she is a Water sign, she feels a connection with Fire. Perhaps it is the dichotomy of life - although Water puts out Fire, they are both strong in their own right. If there are any Pagans still reading my blog, I'd like your take on it. And, if you aren't Pagan, I'd still like your opinions.

Peace